this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
