Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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