no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
