weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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