i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
