Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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