At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
