Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
