im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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