Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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