I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
