i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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