...so i touched it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
