You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
party gras won. party gras always wins.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
