Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
