I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
