so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
