I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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