have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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