She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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