Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
MIDGETS
????
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
