so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
