I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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