Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
