he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
