why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
