she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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