it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
