South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
