You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
