We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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