KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize