he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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