yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
