Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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