his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
