someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
