Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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