just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
