Non-Jews are for practice
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
