Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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