remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
