Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
