i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
