I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
