Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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