he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
