i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your penis caused this!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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