i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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