sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
