I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
