I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
