Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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